Talk:Wikimania 2013 Report/Han-Teng Liao

1. 'This is in stark contrast to the other two Chinese online Encyclopedias'. I'm not sure this makes sense in English.

In your Chinese article I imagine your readers will understand that you are comparing Wikimedia with the two min Chinese-language alternatives. An English reader won't have that frame of reference so I'd suggest you say something like

'This is in stark contrast to the two main Chinese online Encyclopedias' Mccapra (talk) 04:35, 10 October 2013 (UTC)

2. 'It involves not only technical development, but also a diverse set of measurements based on user experiment, feedback and actual data to ensure its success.' Not sure here whether you are saying that 'the process of developing VE' involved experiment, feedback etc. or whether you are saying that 'one of the benefits of VE is that it incorporates new metric tools which will provide WMF with feedback and data whenever editors use it.'Mccapra (talk) 04:44, 10 October 2013 (UTC)

3. 'To improve gender equality, the Foundation has now equal presentation in its Board of Trustees after an election in June 2013.' If you say this it means that the Foundation now has a policy of always maintaining gender parity on the Board. If this is the case the it would be helpful to say 'To improve gender equality, the Foundation has now a policy of equal presentation on its Board of Trustees'. The reference to the election in June suggests that in fact the current gender parity is an accident off the election outcome, and cold change in future. If this is the case, you can't say 'To improve....' Mccapra (talk) 05:40, 10 October 2013 (UTC) Also, you have this item sitting under 'mobilisation' but on its own it is not entirely clear why. If you said something about low % of women editing and the drive to involve more women, this would give it better context and locate it more clearly under the heading 'mobilisation'. Mccapra (talk) 05:54, 10 October 2013 (UTC)

4. 'Also because the Wikisym 2013 was held before some major European elections (e.g. Germany), in addition to individual public policy advocacy work, several European chapters met to discuss the prospects of collective action in pressuring EU institutions to adopt public-interest-oriented and thus Wikimedia-friendly policies.' I don't quite follow the logic of this so I think I'm missing the point. It appears to me to say that because there were election coming in one country, chapters discussed collective action in EU countries. I'd suggest the following:

'Wikimedia 2013 was held shortly before national elections in several European countries, such as Germany, so there were discussions about how to influence national policy on topics such as copyright, open data and freedom of panorama. With elections to the European Parliament in prospect for 2014, several European chapters also met to discuss the prospects of collective action in pressuring EU institutions to adopt public-interest-oriented and thus Wikimedia-friendly policies.' Mccapra (talk) 05:51, 10 October 2013 (UTC) Actually I'm not sure you need this para at all, a you have basically said what needs to be said in the next para. 05:56, 10 October 2013 (UTC)